Listen, you have no idea how difficult it is to cull a 2 minute excerpt out of some of these episodes. Go ahead, try it for your own self, pick 2 coherent minutes out of the nonsensical ADD-laced ravings of easily distracted geeks in this episode, Rock Funkbucket. I dare you.

So, instead of a sensical ‘bit’, you get a small story about Dave. Dave used to do some stand-up comedy and he tells us about a heckler he once had. He’s actually talking about the taking of criticism. And this is the fiftieth digression away from the topic. This topic lasts 10 minutes or more and covers 35 topics. Per Minute. It’s pretty funny, some of it, but man does digression run rampant.

So here’s a small part of the topic, selected by calculating the Laughs per Minute plus the uses of the word ‘Shitbird!’ divided by the Digressions per Minute times the sum of Humor, insight, and Offense to Ethiopians. Or:

X = LpM + S! /DpM x ( H + I + OtE)

Hey, if you want to take over the editing of bits, you are fucking welcome to it, but in the meantime, this is what you get. What you pay for. Well, more than you pay for, as you’re a cheap bastard who doesn’t pay for shit. Ghyarl.

I need a drink.